she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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