I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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