i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
