i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Pants are for mortals
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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