i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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