i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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