I need help removing her.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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