Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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