I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
vagina is talking i cant
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
