WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
this is an emotional support booty call
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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