Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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