...so i touched it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
