Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
