Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
