Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
