ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
