i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
