We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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