Nicole vs. Life
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
be right there i have to get my cape
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich