the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
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