eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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