Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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