White coat. Heels.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
