I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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