I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the day after is always just damage control
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
