Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize