Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
