she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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