I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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