My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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