How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize