It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
