let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
