I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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