Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
