a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Alive.
So much puke
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
