drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
