I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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