I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
