Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I want to fling myself into the sun
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
