there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize