It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
