I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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