Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
