I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Randomize
