why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
