I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
