She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
