p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
