Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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