I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
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I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think my moral compass just broke
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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