Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I love black thongs
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Randomize
