the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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