Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
