I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
