Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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